Onze wijncollega in India heeft een testje bedacht, waarmee hij zich op feestjes het wijngeneuzel van zogenaamde kenners en wijnsnobs van het lijf houdt. We geven zijn versie onvertaald:

1. Wine Cocktails: If people find the very idea revolting remind them that the world in the West is waking up to whisky-wine mixes never imagined before or tried anywhere. They work and they rock. So, if you can't do them then you need a refresher course in wine appreciation. Wine spritzers are in everywhere and even the Old World is waking up to them. Why, then, are us Indians sleeping? Just because a wine is supposed to be drunk by itself traditionally doesn't mean that we can't make cocktails out of it. Sure enough leave the good wines alone but the average bottle is more than happy to be made into a cocktail.
2. Wine with Ice: So you think that wine is meant to be had at an ideal temperature, cool for whites and room temperature for reds. What happens then when you live in India, where the average temperature is no less than 20 degrees even on a wintry day? You need to cool down the wine. How about then a hot, hot summery noon picnic where the wine is chilled?
3. Wine in a tumbler: So wine is meant to be had in a glass. A glass that has a stem and has a certain width. A glass that has a bowl. What if one day you run out of wine glasses and serve wine in a regular tumbler? What about shot glasses? Too much for the connoisseur in you. Well, let me reassure you that a recent study at MIT proved that outside of a placebo effect, wine glasses do nothing for wine. Sure placebo has a value in itself but it implies that you can enjoy wine equally in a wine tumbler as in a wine glass. Picasso's Guernica wouldn't be any less appealing were it to be showcased in a red frame, right?
4. Decanting sparkling wine: Most people would shun the idea right at the beginning. Well, digest this then: champagne houses themselves are making decanters to pour their wines out. The new logic argues that champagne or any other bubbly is inadvertently wine and hence must be drunk so. Hence, all that applies to regular wine should also apply to sparkly stuff too. Don't shun it even if it stuns you. Catch up, instead.
5. Wine Blends: How would people react if you suggested mixing a little white into the super strong red that you happened to open prematurely, that is when it was too young to be opened. They will scoff at you but don't let that harm your imagination. The best of wines in the world are often blends of reds and whites and that is how it works. Shiraz-Viognier and Rhone reds are the best example. So please explain why it is fine if a winery does it but not me?